A little too clear

My beau and I went camping this weekend and it was wonderful. Nature makes me feel whole. It makes me feel strong. It makes me feel like a little kid that can conquer the world. It also makes me feel like my brain takes a vacay onto a distant planet whenever I fall asleep because I have the most unusually vivid dreams. Even more vivid than normal. Some are good, some are not so good. Case in point. (Is that actually the saying?)

I dreamt one of my friends and his boyfriend were going to have a baby. And that they had conceived it. T told me the good news and we had a very casual conversation about how he was pregnant and how he was going to give birth out of his asshole. He wasn't worried about the pain, but hoped he didn't have an orgasm while giving birth. We shared a laugh and I said I was sure he'd be fine.

The final countdown came and he went into labour. For the first time I thought to myself, how odd. My two male friends are having a baby. I guess there won't be any breast feeding. I wonder what their parents will think. Oh, how the world has changed! Anyhow, he gave birth and then left the hospital. The weird catch was that because he was a man, he had to leave and couldn't see his baby for two days. (At this point he disappeared for awhile.)

So, I went to their house and met V who had just picked up his new baby girl... in a shoebox. I questioned why she was in a shoebox, but much like the pregnancy in the first place, it just wasn't a big deal. I realized I was in a great position because I'd be able to be the female influence on their baby, then I remembered V had a dog and asked if I could have it since they probably didn't want to get fur all over the baby.

At this point I blinked and the day changed or there was one of those weird dream transitions and T came home. (To be exact, we were standing in an alley on a steep hill next to a wooden fence that sat atop a cement retaining wall. The sun was setting. It actually reminds me of a place I went when I was in Spain in 1999. Sometimes I think I've done a ton of acid because I have flashbacks of the most random places, but having never done acid, it must just be my brain partying. I digress.) T came home and suddenly the baby was gone. I asked where she was, and him and V laughed and laughed at me. T couldn't believe how gullible I was. There was no pregnancy! There was no baby! They were just playing a practical joke and I fell for it! Pfft, colour me red.

I woke up and felt kind of dirty. (There was a lot more to the dream by the way; including Brad's old assistant being pregnant and having turned into a white african princess, Justin Timberlake, like, five other babies, my dad's house, my cousin, sister, mom, dad's ex girlfriend, blah blah blah. As is my style, the dream was pretty epic.) Back to me feeling dirty. So I told Brad about it and had a hard time telling him all the details because, well, it meant that some part of me was thinking about my friend's asshole. And another part of me was obsessed with babies. To be honest, I don't know which part makes me feel dirtier.

On a lighter note, here's a picture of my new favourite camping accessory. A $7 fur coat I found at a garage sale in Idyllwild, California.