Perfect

I walk towards the cashier and try to stop an employee scurrying by.

Me - Excuse me?

The employee barely blinks and walks by. I'm so polite. I'm so meek. I'm so Canadian. I continue to the cashier. There are a few customers. Be bold!

Me - Excuse me, can I ask a quick question?

Customer - Miss? There's a lineup. I suggest you stand in it like the rest of us.

I throw my hands in the air and surrender to your assholedness. I walk up and down the aisles looking for an employee. At the back of the store I hear a raised voice seething from behind a closed door marked employees only.

Voice - What were you thinking!? Were you even thinking!? Do you have any idea how many complaints I've had? I mean, this is ridiculous! The blatant disrespect for the customers, for your fellow coworkers, for the STORE! Do you have ANY idea how much trouble you've caused? Do you even care?

Pause.

Voice - Are you even listening to me? I have been at this store for seventeen years and have NEVER had to deal with a situation like this. Quite frankly I'm flabbergasted. I don't even know HOW to deal with a situation like this.

Silence. Cough. Someone clears their throat.

I looked behind me and realize I'm hovering over the blood pressure machine and an old man is trying to use it. I'm pretty sure my face goes red. I blindly grab at something on the shelf. Nasal problems? Why yes. I have those.

Voice - You must have thought something would come of this. In your wild head, how did you think I would react?

Silence. Old man grunting. Old men are always grunting.

Voice - What are you doing? What is this? Is this a joke? Excuse me we're not done here...

The door flies open throwing me off guard and into the shelf. A girl flies out of the room and is followed by what I assume, is her boss. Maybe he can answer my question? I move to follow them, but peak in the office first. There's a crumpled piece of paper on the desk. Holy shit I want to know what it says! Where's the grunting old man? Fuck him! Zip! You're mine. I run down the aisle and out the door.

Blasted by the sun. My god it's hot here. I run across the parking lot. I feel like a little thief stealing the key to the world. My heart is racing. It feels great. I wish I wasn't alone. That's okay though. Thieves work best alone. I run across the busy street and don't stop until I'm in the shadows of the market. I pick a table. I wipe the sweat from my face with a lone napkin. Ew. Maybe that was gross. I flatten the paper on the table and read:

"Please consider this my resignation. As in I will no longer be coming to work.

Truly; Lindsay"

Perfect. Absolutely perfect.