Tuesday, March 9, 2010

Nuttin, honey

My darling knee (one of my favourites) is acting up on me today. I have one knee that doesn't like running and walking, and one knee that doesn't like getting up from chairs. I've been taking my Grandpa approved Sierra Sil, so what the fuck man? I don't like the thought of being slowed down. I have things to do. Sweat to be sweated and muscles to be exercised.

Man, war is hard! Those peeps in the Congo have no idea...

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Revisiting Butter

I've heard from a few of you (yes, people read this thing) that you're confused by my sad news about my bff, butter. Let me explain.

I look like I did in grade nine. No, I'm not talking about the brown lipstick (sadly,) I'm talking about my teenage acne. I also have something new happening. My lips are dry. And not just dry from too much wind, but they seem to have a waxy film over them. And up in the top little mountains, they're peeling. That my dears, doesn't happen to me. And it feels sick. Like I put my mouth in wax paraffin and forgot to take it off.

Upon discussing my acne and wax lips with a few companions, it was brought to my attention that I might be dehydrated. I pondered this whilst sucking back on a coors lite. I have been drinking more now that I have some buddies here and Brad and I are all about getting social, but could that be it? The only other beverage I drink is water. Wait, I had been getting cheeky with the coffee and coffee does seem to be zit inducing and dehydrating. Then we discussed the wild dinner Brad and I were taken out for the other night. We had steaks the size of my head and lobster and cream spinach and more spinach and fried things and carrot cake and it all probably cost more than my post secondary education. The next day I felt like I had a horrible hangover. Horrible! I woke up in the middle of the night needing water. So maybe I WAS dehydrated! Then we thought, what am I eating that I wasn't eating before? Meat. Pure and simple. That could attribute to the lips, but the acne?

As we discussed I wandered into the kitchen for a snack of steamed greens and butter. I was quickly reminded that I am intolerant to dairy and a total idiot because I eat so much butter and what is butter made of? Cream. And what does cream give you aside from the toots and poops and cramps? Acne. So there you have it. I was told then and there I'm not allowed to eat meat or butter (I'd already since taken myself off cheese and cream) for a week. Oh, and I'm back to having one cup of coffee a day. If that.

Here's to hoping the wax and zits fall off!

Monday, March 1, 2010

Bitter bean

One of my favourite things in this world is being taken away from me for a week... maybe longer. Until I can prove I'm a responsible adult who takes her allergy pills, I'm not allowed to eat butter.

Last night's steamed vegetables tasted awful.

PS Thank god I have an online blog to help me through this tough time. It soothes me immensely knowing my words are floating through cyberspace and maybe, just maybe, they'll connect with someone else that knows my pain.