Tuesday, March 2, 2010

Revisiting Butter

I've heard from a few of you (yes, people read this thing) that you're confused by my sad news about my bff, butter. Let me explain.

I look like I did in grade nine. No, I'm not talking about the brown lipstick (sadly,) I'm talking about my teenage acne. I also have something new happening. My lips are dry. And not just dry from too much wind, but they seem to have a waxy film over them. And up in the top little mountains, they're peeling. That my dears, doesn't happen to me. And it feels sick. Like I put my mouth in wax paraffin and forgot to take it off.

Upon discussing my acne and wax lips with a few companions, it was brought to my attention that I might be dehydrated. I pondered this whilst sucking back on a coors lite. I have been drinking more now that I have some buddies here and Brad and I are all about getting social, but could that be it? The only other beverage I drink is water. Wait, I had been getting cheeky with the coffee and coffee does seem to be zit inducing and dehydrating. Then we discussed the wild dinner Brad and I were taken out for the other night. We had steaks the size of my head and lobster and cream spinach and more spinach and fried things and carrot cake and it all probably cost more than my post secondary education. The next day I felt like I had a horrible hangover. Horrible! I woke up in the middle of the night needing water. So maybe I WAS dehydrated! Then we thought, what am I eating that I wasn't eating before? Meat. Pure and simple. That could attribute to the lips, but the acne?

As we discussed I wandered into the kitchen for a snack of steamed greens and butter. I was quickly reminded that I am intolerant to dairy and a total idiot because I eat so much butter and what is butter made of? Cream. And what does cream give you aside from the toots and poops and cramps? Acne. So there you have it. I was told then and there I'm not allowed to eat meat or butter (I'd already since taken myself off cheese and cream) for a week. Oh, and I'm back to having one cup of coffee a day. If that.

Here's to hoping the wax and zits fall off!

9 comments:

  1. The placement of the acne is quite significant. This can tell whether it is hormonal acne or allergy acne. If it is an allergy acne you may also find it other places on your body....eg. from dairy on your back or shoulders.

    If you are going to eat the meat and have a sensitivity, be sure to eat organic, hormone free meat. The added hormones can absolutely flare up acne.

    As for the butter, buy salt free butter for the times that you do use it. The salt just adds to possible dehydration and skin irritation. It is the salt that most likely dried out your lips. Try mixing a little extra virgin olive oil with your butter for your veggies. You'll use less butter and the oil is better for your skin.

    And that is my lesson for the day!

    PS-if YOU are dehydrated the rest of us should be dead!!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I meant "unsalted" butter!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Girl! I use unsalted butter, buy organic hormone free meat, and I have zits everywhere! I shouldn't say zits, they look like an allergy rash. Sick.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Marcie, you're sister is right. If you're dehydrated what's going to happen to the rest of us?! I don't believe for a second that you're dehydrated. Certainly not to the extent that your lips are drying out.

    And I am doubting that it's from meat. You ate meat for years and years before and didn't have dry lips. I just don't see how meat can cause dry lips. Although it does sound very funny. As for the zits... have you ever considered that it might be stracne? I mean, you have been stressed, no? It's probably a combination of things.

    Back to the wax lips. Can you take a picture of them and your zit face to send me. I want to see it. Have you switched lip balm or face wash lately? I've had it before where I try a new lip balm and my lips dry put and feel funny.

    And as for butter, keep eating it girl. You've been chowing on butter for years and the dairy in it hasn't been giving you pizza face so I don't see why it would out of the blue.

    Maybe you should stop sucking so much dick and your lips might have a chance to recover.

    ReplyDelete
  5. OMG Amanda I just totally laughed out loud! That must definitely be her problem. She has dick chap.

    I also told her to send me a photo of her face :)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Look how much fun me and Shanna are Marcie, come and hang out with us!!!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Alternately, you could try eating carefully so that the butter doesn't smear all over your face.

    I used to get acne whenever I ate butter, but once I started using cutlery, my skin has totally cleared up.

    Your results may vary.

    ReplyDelete
  8. That's funny shit! And totally true.

    PS the wax lips turned out to be from a super old lip tint I was using. Sick.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I think she's all chapped and zitted due to her family stress not Butter or margarine! She's gotta a whole lotta fudged up people up in her face with butter!

    ReplyDelete