Friday, June 11, 2010

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

My name is Marcie, I'm 29 years old and I'm an addict. I'm addicted to meth. And by meth I mean change.

Everyday I struggle with the reality that I'm not really doing anything. I've never 100% committed to a career goal which makes me feel like I'm not working towards anything. And it drives me insane. I'm a talker more than a doer and although I will eventually get around to doing what I talk about, it takes way longer than it should. I have a million and one great plans and ideas, but I execute about .5% of them. I feel like I want to blame our society for turning us into commitment phobe barbarians with the attention spans of gnats, but that would be too easy. It's always easy to not take responsibility. For the life of me, I just can't figure out the answer to the simple question we've all been asked since we were little.

"What do you want to do with your life?"

Well teacher, I want to go aboard the Steve Irwin and fight the evil Japanese whaling ships. I want to be a nutritionist. I want to write movies. I want to save the marine life in the gulf of mexico. I want to be a fitness coach. I want to be in sketch comedy. I want to write for a kids TV show. I want to work at an animal refuge. I want to be an advocate for mentally challenged people. I want to produce my own movies. I want to be amazingly passionate about something. Anything. Just pick one.

I want to take the amazing opportunities that are falling in my lap everyday and eat them. I want to stuff them deep down inside me and take full advantage of them. Instead, I sit on the computer writing in an online blog. There's only one thing to be said for the frustration I feel -

Oy vey!

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